Woman: Jeremy, you haven't showered yet?
Elizabeth, hurry up. I'm leaving in 10 minutes.
And, Jeremy, your room is a mess.
- I want it cleaned by tonight. - Jeremy: Yes, ma'am.
That goes for you too, Elizabeth.
Elizabeth: Mom, have you seen my red New York t-shirt?
Look in the laundry basket in my bedroom.
Wake up, Harry. No more warnings.
Wake up, lazybones. I have to leave in 10 minutes, now.
Hurry up.
You know, Harry, you can't stay up every night being scared
and then sleep in every morning.
And please pick up this room.
I can't stand it any longer.
I mean it, Harry, or no summer camp.
Mom, it's not here.
I've nothing to wear. She never takes me shopping.
Love the do, Harry. Mom, will you buy me a tent for my birthday?
I don't want cereal. I want pancakes.
Harry, brush your hair. Talk to me when I'm richer, Jeremy.
Oh, and, guys, we have to do the garden this weekend.
- Mom, sign my report card yet? - Mom, please, oh, please,
oh, please, will you take me to the circus?
Where'd you put it, Jeremy?
I don't know, mom. I gave it to you.
- Please? - We'll see, Harry.
I hate cereal. Ricky Turner's mom
always makes him pancakes and eggs and bacon for breakfast.
Well, Ricky Turner's mother doesn't have to work.
Now stop whining, and start eating,
and, Harry, you promised you'd clean the rotten eyeball's bowl.
Do it today, or let's take him back to the pond.
Mom, I can't find my red New York t-shirt.
Oh, and by the way, I'm going to the mall after school with Erin.
- No, you're not. - Oh, mom, please? Everyone does it.
Honey, you are only 12 years old.
Get real, mom. I'm going to be in eighth grade.
Oh, well, aren't you just too cool for words?
Grow up. You're just jealous 'cause I'm older.
- Blehh. - Eww, gross, Jeremy.
Mom, I'm joining the circus when I grow up.
- Harry! - Mom: Aww, Harry.
Look what you've done.
Mom, don't tell me my shirt's
still in the dirty laundry. What am I gonna wear?
Well, Elizabeth, you're almost in the eighth grade.
You ought to be capable of doing your own laundry.
Ah, I am already 15 minutes late.
Now, guys, I love you to bits,
but I'm sick and tired of this.
If I come home tonight and this house is not clean,
nobody is going out this weekend, and I mean it.
Elizabeth: Come on. We better go. It's 20 after.
What's her problem?
Sometimes I think we have the worst mother in the world.
Don't you wish we had one of those mothers
who did everything for you?
♪ Ah, hickory-dickory-dickory dickory dock ♪
♪ the mouse ran up the-up the-up the, up the clock ♪
The clock struck 1:00, and down he run, so ♪
♪ ah, hickory dickory dickory dickory dock ♪
♪ I once knew a mouse named bobo... ♪
♪ he was a cute mouse, and this you all know ♪
♪ now bobo was the kind of mouse who liked to play catch ♪
♪ so I'm-a bust a funky rhyme of how ♪
- ♪ bobo got his fame, but ♪ - Yes!
♪ Ah, hickory-dickory-dickory dickory dock ♪
- ♪ the mouse ran up the-up the-up the... ♪ - Hey, that's my cookie.
Was.
Was your cookie.
Got anything else good?
Hey, Martin, looks like your brother's getting his butt kicked again.
Maybe next time, Turner...
hey, hey, hey! What's going on here, boys?
He pushed me for no reason.
That's not true. He pushed my brother down first.
Now you're the older boy here. Violence is no way to solve anything.
Come on. Ricky, this isn't your fault.
Look what I got from my mom's closet.
Girl ♪2: All right, let me have one.
Elizabeth Martin.
Hello. Mrs. Martin, please.
Mrs. Martin? Hi. This is Terrance leeby, school principal.
Yes, I'm sorry to bother you,
but I'm afraid I need to make an appointment for a home visit.
Yes, I know summer vacation starts tomorrow,
but this is very important.
Men don't cry. I mean, really, what would dad say?
You gotta be strong, Harry, take charge.
What am I supposed to do if a bigger kid picks on me?
Well, whatever it takes. Just don't be a wimp.
Look, if you have to, punch him in the nose.
Harry, ignore Mr. Macho here.
We've got much bigger problems than that.
Jeremy: Yeah, like mom's gonna kill us.
Harry: Maybe Ms. Cavour can do some flower magic
and make leeby go up in smoke.
Elizabeth: You're such a kid.
Mrs. Cavour doesn't do real magic.
She just talks to her flowers.
Harry: But her flowers grow better than anybody else's.
Jeremy: Yeah, which means she's got a lot more rose bugs
for us to catch and earn money.
- Jeremy: There she is over there. - Harry: I see her.
- Jeremy: Mrs. Cavour. - Harry: Come on.
Hello, Mrs. Cavour. Were you putting a spell on the rose bugs?
Hello, children.
No, I couldn't do that.
That would be like spraying them.
There's no joy in an unequal battle.
I bet you have come for your wages, haven't you?
Yeah, well, summer vacation starts tomorrow,
and we could sure use it.
Especially since we're gonna be in the doghouse with our mother.
Well, if you're interested in more work, you can see I need the help.
Can't you just do some magic to make the bugs disappear?
- Harry, stop it. - Why? I think it'd be really cool.
Just kind of zap them, and presto, they're history.
Jeremy: No, I'll tell you what'd be really cool.
If we just kind of zap mom, and presto, she's history.
Elizabeth: Yeah, I could get into that.
Get rid of mom before she grounds us.
For real, Ms. Cavour, is there any kind of spell
that can make bugs or anything, even people disappear?
Well, the ancients believed that the stars were our memories
and one removed an enemy by erasing all memory of that person,
all belongings, all reminders.
Wait a minute. So we could just kind of forget
everything about mom, including her nagging and cleaning up?
Precisely.
Wow. Wouldn't that be cool?
Yeah, and imagine if we even got a perfect mom
who never, ever punished us.
Jeremy: The ancients say anything about how to make it work?
Elizabeth: Sure, dork-head. "Abracadabra."
No, erasing memory is a very dangerous game.
It's not one I would play with, my dears.
That's easy for you to say. You don't live with our mother.
Well, I believe the ancients used to say,
"abit luna, abit Stella."
Roughly translated, that means, "moon gone, stars gone,"
and then they'd say whatever they wanted gone.
For example, in your case, you'd say,
"abit matera," "mother gone."
And if it worked... and that's assuming a great deal...
your mother would be gone,
and then you could go to the mommy market and pick out a new mother.
You could go where?
The mommy market.
Jeremy, don't get any ideas. She's pulling our leg.
Come on, we better get home and prepare for battle.
- Elizabeth: See you, Ms. Cavour. - Harry: Bye bye, Mrs. Cavour.
Harry: Do you think mom's gonna take away TV?
Jeremy: She's gonna nail us.
Yeah, I don't feel like facing her right now.
Jeremy: What a pain.
Mom: Who do you think you are?
You can't just go around doing whatever you want.
And, Elizabeth, cigarettes, really.
Well, that's it.
You're all grounded, period, understand?
There's no camp, no allowance,
no TV, no nothing.
Now up to your room right now, this instant.
- I am furious. - But, mom...
don't "but, mom" me. Things are gonna change around here permanently.
Now march.
Harry, I thought I told you
to keep your stuff in your room.
I'm going to camp. I don't care what she says.
Camp I can do without, but being around her
for the whole summer, forget it.
I'm out of here.
Yeah. No wonder dad left her.
Wish we didn't have to be stuck with her.
- Hey. Hey, that's it. - What?
Maybe we could try to make her disappear, like Mrs. Cavour said.
- Please. - No, really. Come on.
Everyone sit in a circle. We gotta make it look SWAT.
But then she'll be gone.
Duh, but then we get to go to that mommy market
and pick out a new mother, a perfect mother.
Harry...
A mother that makes pancakes every morning.
- Wow! - You guys are brain-damaged.
Could you stop being such a drip, Elizabeth?
You want to watch TV, see your friends, go to the mall?
Yeah, if it works, we'll get to do anything we want.
And when it doesn't work, Mr. Magic?
Ooh, then I'll tell all your cool friends you look like a jerk.
What do you care? If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Big deal.
Oh, Elizabeth, stop being such a yuppie.
A what?
Jeremy: Come on. Everybody hold hands.
Okay, how'd it go?
We gotta all say it together.
Harry: Uh, abit something...
oh, yeah. Abit luna,
abit Stella, abit matera.
Okay, everybody together.
Abit luna,
abit Stella,
abit matera.
Mom: Okay, kids, five minutes to bedtime.
I don't want to have to come up there.
So much for that bright idea.
Any more hocus-pocus you guys want to whip up?
Looks like there's a storm coming.
We better get to bed
before mom grounds us for the century.
Harry: What... what's happening?
I... I feel confused.
Elizabeth: It's all empty.
What used to be in here?
I don't know. I can't remember.
What's going on? Whose room is this?
The magic. We did the magic.
Elizabeth: Right, but can you remember her?
Well, sure.
I mean, she, um...
We wanted to get rid of her.
Get rid of who? What does she look like?
How did she talk?
I... I don't know.
I don't remember.
Do you guys?
Are you guys scared?
No.
Jeremy: No, we're not scared.
I mean, this is what we wanted.
We erased her. We're free.
We can do whatever we want.
We can get a new mother, right?
Right. A perfect mother.
Harry: Yippee!
♪ Whoa, I feel good ♪
- Pancakes. Oops. - ♪ I knew that I would now ♪
Elizabeth: You're getting this all over the floor.
♪ I feel good ♪
♪ I knew that I would now ♪
- Eggs. That's good. - ♪ So good ♪
♪ so good, I got you ♪
♪ wow, I feel nice ♪
♪ like sugar and spice ♪
♪ I feel nice ♪
♪ like sugar and spice ♪
♪ So nice, so nice ♪
♪ I got you ♪
Yuck.
♪ When I hold you in my arms ♪
♪ I know that I can do no wrong ♪
♪ and when I hold you in my arms ♪
♪ my love won't do you no harm ♪
♪ and I feel nice... ♪
Ohh!
I believe this is yours.
Is your mother home?
- No, she's not. - Really?
We had an appointment.
Well, she had an emergency.
She had to leave very quickly. I'm so sorry.
When do you expect her?
We don't. We got rid of her.
Tonight. We're expecting her tonight.
We'll tell her you dropped by.
Okay. Thanks.
Have her call me tomorrow, will you? It's important.
Elizabeth: Mrs. Cavour!
Mrs. Cavour, we need to find the mommy market.
Yeah, we got rid of our mother. She's gone.
Gone? I don't understand.
Where has your mother gone to?
We erased her like you told us the ancients did,
and now we can't remember her at all.
Oh, I see.
Yeah, and we can't cook very well, and we need dinner.
Besides, we want a new mother, not no mother.
Yeah, so where's the mommy market? How do we get there?
Lily, germander, sops in wine,
sweetbrier, bonfire, columbine.
It's many years since I've been to the mommy market.
I don't know if it's still in operation,
but it used to be all the way downtown in the old district
just beyond central square.
I can't imagine that it's moved,
but it's only open for business
on Sundays from 3:00 to 5:00.
Mrs. Cavour: Go down main street
till you come to the open-air market.
Keep the clock tower on your left,
and move west from it along the market.
Halfway down the block
is a small cobblestone street.
Elizabeth: There's the cobblestone street.
Mrs. Cavour: Take that right. Continue on
until you come to a small alley.
- Childers Lane, it was called. - Jeremy: Look, it's there!
- Elizabeth: "Childers Lane." - Follow that to its end,
and there you will find the mommy market,
if you find it at all.
Thank you. Please deposit your token.
Thank you.
Whoo!
Look... twin mothers!
Woman: I know everything there is to know
about any...
Boy: Remember, you guys, this is our last token.
You haven't tasted anything till you taste my butter chip cookies.
Hi.
Boy: Can you bake a chocolate cake too?
- Of course I can, honey. - With thick frosting?
- Naturally, sweetie pie. - Girl: Do you get mad
if the children pick the frosting and leave the cake?
Woman: Why, sugar bun, what you want
is a big plate of chocolate fudge instead.
- Boy: Yeah. - I want her.
Well, wait till we've seen them all.
Girl ♪2: What kind of cakes do you bake?
- Yeah. - Youth: What can I do for you?
We'd like to get one of these mothers.
Okay. What's your name?
Elizabeth, Jeremy and Harry Martin.
I'm Edward. Welcome to the mommy market,
established in 1742.
You mean the mommy market's been here that long?
Well, not the way it is now.
It used to be called "parental exchange, female division."
Is there a daddy market? Can we go there too?
Edward: You can go there instead,
but no one can go to both at once.
It's always disastrous.
We better get a mother first.
We want someone who can cook pancakes.
Well, we've got 'em all here.
However, before you choose a mother, we have one rule
to which there's absolutely no exception.
All families have three picks.
Woman: I mean, I'm the most fun mom in this whole world.
We give each family three of these tokens.
You have to deposit one of these tokens
into that metal turnstile over there
before security will let you take a mother home.
We found that if children don't find a suitable new mother
by the third try, they never will.
So here are your tokens,
and good luck.
"Ad matrem per espera."
What does that mean?
365 gifts a year.
Yes.
Woman: And we'll put all these gifts in the car,
and we'll take my cake. Who wants to taste my cake?
Kids: Me! Me!
Woman: You like that, don't you?
Child: All of my favorite flavors. Oh, chocolate.
Woman ♪2: Creativity, that's the most important thing.
Aerialist: May I have your attention, please?
Step, step right up!
Greatest show in the world!
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Hey, kids! Whoo!
Come on, Harry.
- Whoo! Whoo! - No, I don't.
Puppet: No, I don't. Let me go.
♪ He does nothing at all ♪
♪ He's just a rock-and-roll boy... ♪
Policewoman: Come on.
Now there's a mother who can teach you
how to take care of yourself, Harry.
Don't even think it. She's taken.
Ah.
Woman: Yeah.
- Are you serious? - She's terribly beautiful.
Oh, I don't believe this.
Do you really like children?
Of course I do, darling.
What do you do with them?
Oh, with a girl your age, I would have such fun.
I would teach you how to dress to your best advantage.
Ohh.
We would have to do something about your hair.
You're getting much too old for that hairdo.
I'm sure Hank my hairdresser could do wonders for you.
- He could? - Come on, Elizabeth.
- Let's go to the next one. - Can you cook?
Of course not, darling.
But I never go anywhere without my chef Pierre.
Ohh, mwah. A true artiste.
Pierre can do anything.
Elizabeth, no.
Wait a minute.
I like her the best so far.
Are you kidding? Look at her. She looks like Cruella de vil.
I hate her. She smokes cigarettes.
I want the cookie one.
Edward on p.A.: Five minutes to closing. Five minutes to closing.
- Look, I'm the oldest. - I'm the biggest.
Either we take her, or we wait till next week. What'll it be, boys?
Woman: And they lived happily ever after.
She does have a cook.
Bet you he can make pancakes for breakfast.
She's obviously rich, Jeremy.
She could buy you anything.
- Storyteller: Did you like my stories? - Kids: Yeah!
- Will you come home with us? - Storyteller: Oh, I'd love to.
Okay.
Um, excuse me.
Would you like to be our mother?
Oh, that would be divine, darling.
Call me mama.
Ah, there, chivas.
Wow. You mean we get to ride in this?
Ah, surely you did not expect us to take the bus.
Harry: This is the biggest car ever!
Say, give me five.
Oh, yeah. Cruising down the Avenue.
Jeremy: Oh, we are so rich.
Oh, do you have any grey poupon?
He's always wanted to say that, yeah.
- Ha ha. - Yeah. Whoo!
I suppose this whole space might do as my closet.
I'll take that one over there.
It's crooked.
Thank you.
Now do show me the house, darlings.
Ta-da!
Nobody smokes in our room, mama.
Here. Put it out.
- He's kidding. - Ohh.
A real little boy's room.
Mon dieu!
What is that terrible, nasty-looking creature?
It's not real...
- What? Where? - ...ls it?
- I think she means Michael. - That's Michael, my iguana.
No! No no no no no.
Don't take him out.
I don't think mama cares for Michael.
Madame: Pierre made madame's favorite,
poached octopus.
Eww.
I'm planning an intimate little party
to introduce you children...
To 90 of my closest friends.
But oh, there's so much work to do.
Where shall we start? Mmm!
Harrington, eat. Eat.
Ahem!
Madame.
Ucch! Ohh.
Bye bye, little fishies.
- Jeremy: Here she comes. - Harry: Finally.
- Come on! - Hurry up, Elizabeth!
Come on, Elizabeth. We gotta have a meeting.
What's up?
Hurry up. We gotta have a meeting.
Hang on, guys. I think that the treehouse
is, you know, more for kids your age.
Elizabeth, don't try to grow up right now.
This woman is seriously bad news.
She flushed Harry's tadpoles down the toilet.
I raised them from eggs.
Harry, I'm sure she didn't know.
All of 'em, even the big fat one, the rotten eyeball.
That's not all, Elizabeth.
Look what I found in the rag drawer. Say the password.
- Rose and sword forever. - Come on.
My favorite t-shirt.
Elizabeth!
Harrington! Jeremy!
We have an appointment.
Come down at once from that horrible eyesore.
I'm going to have that thing torn down next week.
Ugh. Disgusting.
Bonjour.
Watch it.
Pardonnez-moi, monsieur. I know not.
Yeah, okay.
Is Mrs. Martin home?
Who? Oh, uh, the madame.
Um, she is out with the children.
Would you like to leave her a message?
Yeah, you give the madame a message.
Tell her I'm coming by tomorrow morning
and that she'd better be here.
Ooh la la. Heh heh heh.
Madame: Hank, it has to go.
She's much too old for that hairdo.
Oh, I want the length off.
I want something with sharp angles
and I don't want to discuss it.
Hank, don't even think about it.
Ha ha ha ha. Relax, darling.
And harrington over there
just needs cleaning up.
Cavour: What am I going to do about you morning glories?
What'll I do? What'll I do?
You just won't stop, will you?
Hello, Mrs. Cavour.
What's the matter?
I'm going to have to take strong measures against these morning glories.
They... they want the whole garden to themselves.
Tell me, children, did you find the mommy market?
Children, what have you done to yourselves?
We found it, all right.
We haven't done anything. It's all mama.
- Who? - Mama.
Elizabeth picked a real winner of a mother.
She's a nightmare, and we're all gonna die of lung cancer.
I said we could wait.
Man, I never want to go shopping again as long as I live.
She's horrible. She wanted to tear down our treehouse
we built by ourself.
She's really gross. She wears a big white fur thing
and smokes cigarettes all day long.
Oh.
I see the picture.
Well, only experience is going to help you find the right mother.
But I can see the difficulty you're having with this one.
My grandfather always used to tell me...
Which means "watch out for people who like fur coats."
It's clear your mama doesn't like animals.
I cannot stay in this house any longer
with that creature loose in it.
I must go back to the mommy market
and find some other little children
who don't keep monsters in their bedrooms.
There's some cold octopus in the refrigerator.
Oh, my darlings,
you will... mwah mwah... easily find
another mother... mwah mwah...
at the market.
But for goodness' sakes, warn her
that's she's coming to a house
with a monster loose in it!
Chivas, vite, vite.
Of course, madame.
- Chivas! - Sorry, madame.
Oh, no. Perfect timing.
Wait a minute. Wait. Just one minute. Wait.
Never mind.
I'll handle this. Hello, Mr. Leeby.
I hope you didn't have another appointment with our mother.
I haven't been able to reach your mother.
She doesn't return my calls.
She hasn't shown up at work.
- Now where is she, kids? - She's out.
- I want the truth. - She's out.
We'll tell her you dropped by.
Well, who was that woman in the limo?
That's our interior decorator.
Um, mom's redoing the house.
I don't know what's going on around here,
but I do know you're trying to cover something up.
Now you tell your mother if she doesn't call me tomorrow,
I'm getting in touch with social services.
Attention, shoppers,
if this is your last token, don't blow it.
There are no more turns.
All children should have pets.
Success is the most important goal.
Boy: What are you making with those cans?
I'm not making anything.
They're there for intellectual stimulation.
That is the greatest gift we mothers can give our children.
- What is? - Intellectual stimulation.
She looks like some teacher just dying to bum out some children.
Hi.
Cleanliness is next to godliness.
She looks like a real gloom. Let's get out of here pronto.
I can't get too much of the outdoors.
I love doing things with kids.
What other things do you do with them?
Oh, all kinds of things, baseball, touch football,
fishing, hiking, bird walks.
Do you like iguanas?
Love 'em. Fascinating species.
Do you play basketball?
You bet I do.
Here. Have a marshmallow.
- Thanks. - Can I have one?
- I want one. - Can I have one, please?
She's awesome. She would never tear down the treehouse.
She's everything we could want in a mother.
Now, Jeremy, we have to use our heads about this.
We have to all want her. What do you think of her?
Mmm. Good marshmallow.
Look, we gotta get somebody fast. Leeby's gonna be back.
She likes iguanas, Elizabeth.
Face it, Elizabeth. It's two to one.
Okay okay. We'll ask her.
- Is it time to go? - Um, excuse me.
We'd like you to be our mother.
No, I want her.
Timeout! Let's count out like good sports.
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,
catch a tiger by the toe.
If he hollers, let him go.
I choose this one
right here.
Why don't you call me "mom"?
Can't have this nonsense between me and the outdoors.
Ah, there.
Now I can settle in.
Well, ah, whose frilly pillow?
Get rid of it.
That's my college field hockey team.
The year I was center forward,
we were undefeated.
Ah, taxidermy is my hobby.
I consider these my masterpieces.
Meet Michael my iguana.
Oh, he's really neat, Harry.
We'll have to get you a mate for him. Then you can breed them.
No, thanks, mom. Michael's plenty.
Sometimes I even forget to feed him.
We don't need a whole lot of 'em.
Nonsense. If you get too many,
you can stuff some of 'em.
I'll teach you how.
All right, watermelon seed fight.
Me and Harry against you guys.
Aah!
Ha ha!
Oh, look.
Look at the size of that raccoon.
We can catch him and stuff him!
Elizabeth: Wait, mom, don't hurt it!
- He has a family. - Run, raccoon! Run!
Perfect. I can rig a special trap to bag an animal that size.
Swahili natives taught it to me
when I was on safari back in '82.
- Mom, he's just a helpless raccoon. - Shh!
Excuse me. I was... whoa!
Beat it, buster, before I call the police.
- Mrs. Martin? - Maybe I didn't make myself clear!
Believe me, you haven't heard the last of this.
Mom: Hit the deck, kids.
The sun's been up for hours.
Only dudes and softies sleep late in the morning.
Now move it. We are going camping today.
What smells so good?
My best griddlecakes. Now up and at 'em.
When'd you come in here, Harry?
Last night. I was scared.
Wimp.
So heavy.
Elizabeth: Here, Harry, let me help you.
Elizabeth, give Harry back his sleeping bag.
Campers must learn to carry their own equipment.
But he's tired and he's only six.
Ah, we'll stop and rest then.
It's not much further anyway.
All right. It's just up there.
Here we are.
Well, let's get to work and kick back.
Elizabeth, you and Jeremy take the hatchet.
Cut some pine boughs for our beds.
Harry, you start gathering wood for the fire.
Ah, I brought us the biggest steak you ever saw.
Um, mom, I gotta go.
- Go where? - To the bathroom.
- So go. - But where?
Where? Out there.
But I gotta go number two.
So go, Harry. Use leaves.
Ah, Elizabeth, Jeremy.
L-leaves?!
Mom, I can't sleep.
The mosquitoes keep biting me.
Get down under your sleeping bag then.
Then I get all sweaty.
If you're going to be a camper,
you have to be a man, Harry.
Spread your ponchos over your sleeping bags and go to sleep.
We'll be back as soon as the weather changes.
Let's sing a rousing marching song to give us some pep.
♪ Tramp tramp tramp, the boys are marching ♪
♪ Cheer up, comrades, they will come ♪
♪ In the prison cell I sit ♪
♪ Thinking, mother dear, of you ♪
♪ And our sweet and happy home so far away ♪
♪ tramp tramp tramp, the boys are marching ♪
- ♪ cheer up, comrades... ♪ - Whoa!
Harry! Wait, mom. Harry needs help.
- ♪ They fill my eyes... ♪ - Mom!
- ♪ Though I try to cheer my comrades... ♪ - Mom!
Jeremy: I got more scratches yesterday than I did in my whole life.
Thank god for bad weather.
Yeah, but for how long?
One sunny day, and we have to go back out there.
- You guys up there? - Yeah. Hi.
Wanna play a game of kickball?
- Okay. - Cool.
- Well, girls get... - Okay, I want...
kids, what's going on out here?
- We're playing kickball. - Super.
Kickball's a favorite of mine.
Elizabeth'll be captain of one team.
I'll be captain of the other.
We don't use captains. We just play.
Well, then it's high time you learned to do it right.
- My kickball. - Harry,
you, you, you and you on Elizabeth's team.
Jeremy, you're on mine. I'll take these kids here and their little brother.
We let the kids who are under five
be on both sides, because they like
to be up to bat better than in the field.
If they're old enough to play,
they're old enough to obey the rules.
Oh, that little one there's too young to play.
But he always plays. It's his favorite thing.
Well, I'm sorry. This is not a sport for a toddler.
Well, if he's not playing, I'm not playing either then.
Come on, Luke. Let's go home.
We've gotta go.
All right now, let's play ball!
- Hey, I'm catcher. - I'm third base.
- I'm second. - Lily, you're up first.
Ah.
Strike one!
Strike two.
Mom, you're throwing it too fast.
She can't kick it like that.
Strike three. Out.
Move over. Next man up.
I didn't get my turn yet.
- Yes you did. - No I didn't.
I didn't get my turn. When?
You're not fair. That's not how Elizabeth pitched.
If you're going to play, you have to do it right.
Three strikes, and you're out.
But she always gets a home run.
Not unless she kicks it good and hard.
You're ruining it all. Come on, Lily.
Let's go over to Sally's house. We can play
- with her brother. - Yeah, let's go.
We can play it the right way.
- Yeah, me too. - Let's go.
Huh.
Well, I can see you guys need some serious training.
Let's start with push-ups.
Everyone drop and give me 20. Drop!
One, two, three, four, five.
What did we do wrong?
We thought she was the exact opposite of mama.
She seemed wonderful at first.
You made a very natural mistake.
You thought because she was interested
in different things than mama,
she'd be a different kind of person.
Well, down at the roots, they're the same.
The same? What do you mean the same?
There was never anybody more different.
Mama seemed to only care about how you looked, right?
- Yes. - Hey, wait a minute.
Think about it. How did mom pick us?
- Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. - Yeah. So?
It really didn't make any difference what kids she got.
Yeah, all she wanted was the winner.
- Right. - So we don't have to worry about hurting her feelings
when we tell her to go back to the mommy market.
And I think you better tell her right away.
You need to have a quiet day by yourselves
before you try another one.
I'm scared to try again.
This is our last chance.
Yeah, what are we gonna do if we don't pick the right one?
Ms. Cavour, do you think we're ever gonna find a mother?
Well, I think the mistake you make
is being fooled by all the fancy trappings.
These are zinnias.
Good mothers are rather like zinnias, dependable,
but they can surprise you.
They're really quite extraordinary.
- Jeremy: Mom. - Yeah.
I'm up here
setting a trap for that raccoon we spotted.
Mom, come on down. We gotta talk to you man to man.
Oh, good. What about?
We feel that we don't suit each other,
and we think you should go back to the mommy market.
Nonsense. We haven't had a real camping trip yet.
We don't want one either.
Ah, don't chicken out on me now.
We've hardly gotten off the ground.
Mom, be a good sport and play the rules of the game.
Yeah, don't be a poor sport.
You're right.
I'd never want it said that I'm a poor loser.
Well, I'll just gather my things,
go inside and be on my way.
Ahh.
Cheerio.
I hate your picks.
You both pick really gross, horrible mothers.
Do you guys ever try to remember our real mother?
Why? Do you remember something about her?
No.
I was just trying to.
All I remember is
that we wanted to get rid of her.
You know, I'm getting scared.
This is our last pick at the mommy market.
What if we pick the wrong mother?
Oh, Elizabeth, I just want a good mother.
I want one I like.
Don't worry. I'll pick one you like...
Someone really extraordinary.
- Wow! - No.
- I want her. - Forget it.
We'll blimp out like that other little girl.
- Ooh, chocolate. - Come on.
Oh!
Do you teach kids to juggle?
Why, of course.
Children are soul of circus.
What if they don't wanna be in the circus?
Uhh. Who would like to join circus?
Me me me!
Ah! Mwah mwah mwah mwah!
I want her. She seems nice.
Please, I'm not even discussing her.
Yeah, but I didn't get a pick!
You said we'd get one I'd like.
Now it's my turn, and I want her.
This is our last shot. We gotta be careful and pick someone really good.
Well, if you don't like her, I want the cookie one.
Harry, stop being such a baby.
We gotta use our heads about this. This is serious.
I am serious. I'm not being a baby.
You're not fair.
Everyone I want, you don't want.
I'm not picking anyone you want. Look what you got us.
It's my turn and I wanna pick too.
And, Elizabeth, she's extraordinary.
She juggles.
This is our last token.
- Sure about this? - Yes.
Please deposit your token.
Hah! Ohh! Ha!
Ah, since we're all
going to be part of troupe, why don't you guys
call me my name, Natasha.
Okay, let's go. Hurry!
Ah, there they are.
That's our bus. Ah, mwah.
Been with us 20 years.
It's gone everywhere with us.
Us? Who's us?
It's too high.
Pretend you are flying.
Elizabeth.
Work with me.
Come over here.
Perfect.
Don't move.
Whatever you do, don't move.
This is ridiculous.
We've got a three-ring circus in our backyard.
Elizabeth, we gotta get rid of her.
Okay, we'll tell her to go back. That's all.
But then we'll have no mother at all.
Natasha: Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls, may I have your attention, please?
Tonight in our center ring...
Natasha, look at me!
No, big guy! No, don't do it!
My bike!
Natasha: Okay, little guy, we've got the bed here.
Okay, now we must practice the double somersault.
Okay, go.
- Oh! Very good. - Natasha.
Ah, why you kids not practicing?
We've got a show to do.
Natasha, look, we're sorry, but we'd like you to leave.
And we want you to take everybody else with you.
Ah, what is this?
We're about to go on tour.
Yeah, vell, ve don't want to go on tour.
And we want you to get out.
Ah, don't be ridiculous.
- Right, big guy? - That's right.
Right. Okay, little guy. Okay.
Man, we're stuck with her.
Natasha: Very, very good.
- don't bet on it. - Yeah, very good.
Okay, go.
Very good.
More gas, Harry, the long one.
The long one.
Now remember, just go around the block a couple of times.
- We know. - We just want to get them
- out of the house. - We know, Elizabeth. We know.
And be careful!
Wake up! Someone's stealing the bus!
- Natasha, get up! - The bus!
Someone's stealing the bus!
The bus, it's over there!
Okay, Harry, I'm gonna try and pull over now.
Not so much gas. Harry, start to brake.
I am.
Harry, I said brake.
Harry. Harry, hit the brakes!
- I am. - Harry!
Hit the brakes, Harry! Hit the brakes!
Stop kicking me. Which one's the brakes?
Aah!
Are you okay?
Yeah, I think so.
Come on.
Come on!
Hey, where are you go?
- Let go of me, you big... - Where are you going?
- Let go of me! - Hey!
Harry, help!
- Yaah! - Hey.
Way to go, Harry. And I called you a wimp?
Natasha: Open up!
- Open up! - Should we open it?
- We've come to get our stuff. - We have to open it.
- You wrecked the bus. - We didn't mean to.
We have a show to do. We're leaving.
Look, I'll open it.
Elizabeth: We're sorry.
How could you?
Huh? How could you?
Jeremy: Well, you wouldn't leave.
It was our bus.
Our beautiful, beautiful bus.
We are going back to the mommy market
and looking for kids who understand...
That the show must go on.
Always the show must go on.
Get our stuff.
See what I mean, Dr. Richardson?
What are we gonna eat tomorrow?
Yeah, and who's gonna take us grocery shopping?
And who's gonna tuck us in and make sure we eat and everything?
We can't go back to the mommy market,
so who is gonna take care of us?
Harry, stop it. Just stop it.
They're back.
Children?
Children, open the door.
Children.
Children, open this door!
I know you're in there!
- I know you're in... - This isn't the way.
We need to contact the proper authorities
and get them into foster homes.
Foster homes?
It's all my fault.
I used up our last turn on a stupid mother.
Now I have no mother at all,
and they won't let us back at the mommy market.
You gotta help us. Is there any way
we can go back to the mommy market and try one more time?
What's the use? I hate them all.
- I just wish we could find our own mother. - Me too.
If only we could remember something about her.
Mrs. Cavour, why can't we remember anything about her?
Well, that's a typical manifestation
- of the enchantment. - The what?
The enchantment, sorcery. The name doesn't matter.
It's what's taken your mother away.
I don't understand.
Why can't we remember her? Where'd she go?
I told you erasing memory was a dangerous game.
Of course you don't remember.
Memory would break the spell.
That's the way with enchantment.
But if you did break it and got her back,
you'd remember quite clearly.
She isn't lost, you know.
She's only misplaced.
But how can we break it? There must be some way.
Yeah, how can we get her back?
Yeah, where is she?
The only way you can break the enchantment
is to pick your mother,
really and truly pick her.
Wait. Is she at the mommy market?
How do we recognize her?
Will you make some flower magic
so we'll remember her?
Oh, you'll have to make your own.
After all, she's your own mother.
How do we do that? We don't know any magic?
Well, a spell isn't essential,
but it can't hurt to have a nice one.
Why don't you see what happens
if you say the names of wildflowers?
I can't think of any.
Well, think of where they grow in the woods
or in the swamps in the spring
or the fields in the summer.
- Daisies! - Good.
Violets and buttercups.
Oh, I know. Lady-slippers,
- pink ones and yellow ones. - Daisies.
Harry, you already said daisies.
I know. I like daisies. I want them in again.
Oh, devil's paintbrush and skunk cabbage.
Take that back.
No, your mother isn't perfect, you know.
Skunk cabbage is one of the first flowers to bloom in the spring,
and I for one am always very glad to see it.
Black-eyed Susan.
Wild roses and water lilies.
Forget-me-nots.
I think that will be quite adequate,
and it certainly sounds like you.
I'm sure it'll be a help to you remembering your mother.
But don't get discouraged, and remember,
ad matrem per espera.
That's on the tokens. What does it mean?
It means it's hard work to find out who your mother is.
He's not looking. Come on.
Harry, don't worry.
We'll get Michael back.
We have to get a token.
I don't wanna do it.
Harry, would you rather have an iguana or a mother?
Oh, Jean-Pierre.
Oh no, Jean-Pierre.
Oh, Jean-Pierre, you are an animal.
Okay, now! Come on!
You guys keep watch.
- What's going on? - What's chasing the kids?
- Shoot. - Hurry up. Come on.
They're coming this way! They're coming!
Security's coming.
Michael! Where's Michael?
They're scaring Michael. We gotta find Michael.
Harry, come on!
I know those kids. They don't play by the rules.
- I'll handle this. - That's mine!
- Moms are chasing the kids. - The kids are pretty fast.
Stop them! Those kids are thieves!
- Whoo! Look out below. - Whoa!
Uhh!
Whoa.
Elizabeth, Jeremy, harrington,
you are finished. This is the end
- of your uncouth little game. - Hey! Help!
- I've got you now. - Let him go.
- Help! Please! - Let him go.
- Help! - Elizabeth, catch.
Help!
You kids were advised of the rules.
Stealing a token doesn't make any difference.
You have no more turns.
Now go on, get out of here.
You broke the rules. Understand?
You can never come back.
Yes, I know. I've got the papers
from the social services department.
I followed the kids into this area.
They're somewhere around here.
Let's search the area, and if we come up empty...
- Stay back. - ...We'll head back to their house.
It's leeby with the police.
They're finding foster homes for them right now.
I've got some pictures. I'll show you.
Come on. If our mother's in there, we've gotta find her.
- I don't care what happened. - Elizabeth!
Where are they?
It's gone.
Elizabeth, it's gone.
Edward: You broke the rules.
Understand? You can never come back.
What's gonna happen to us?
Are they gonna send us away? Huh? What's gonna happen?
What are we gonna do, Elizabeth?
Yeah, what are we gonna do?
We can't go on all alone.
You gotta do something, Elizabeth. Please do something.
What am I supposed to do?
I don't know what to do. What would you want me to do?
Stop asking me.
I'm not your mother. I'm just a kid.
I don't know!
I'm sorry, Jeremy.
I'm feeling really scared, Elizabeth.
I know. So am I.
No, I just want a mother who knows me,
you know, who loves me.
I just want my own mother.
Me too.
We have to try to remember her.
We just have to remember her.
Daisies, daisies, daisies.
Why isn't it working, Elizabeth?
Daisies.
We're never gonna remember her.
Know what?
Let's make up a memory together
about a trip we took with our mother,
someplace special.
How can you make a memory about someone you can't remember?
Well, we could just imagine how we'd want it to be.
Okay, but make up an exiting one.
Yeah, one that happened yesterday to all of us.
Yesterday's kind of hard. It just happened.
Elizabeth, we're pretending.
Yeah, we went to fox hill pond and I caught a fish.
No, we didn't. We went to the beach,
the real beach by the ocean.
Not me. I went to the woods,
where I'd never been before.
I found a secret waterfall.
I know. You know what we did?
The reason why it was such an adventure
is because we couldn't decide which one we wanted to do,
so our mother decided that we should do everything.
- She did? - Yes.
Mother woke us up really early,
and we got to the beach before the sun had even come up.
There was no one there but us,
just our mother and us.
It was like being on the edge of the land,
on the edge of the sea,
the edge of the day all at once.
It was really cold that morning,
so our mother bundled us up and made a fire of driftwood.
Jeremy: And then we all played with the waves,
racing them in to shore.
Harry: Yeah, and our feet got really freezing,
but we didn't even notice
'cause we were having so much fun.
Elizabeth: The only sounds were us running and laughing
and the sea gulls squawking.
There's something magical about us being alone out there.
Jeremy: I remember mom
told us a story she made up
about us all running away to sea.
Elizabeth: And then she told us
that every time we got to watch a sunrise,
god was telling us a secret.
Jeremy: Later in the day, we followed a little brook,
and its clear brown pools weren't even knee-deep.
Harry: Yeah, and our sneakers got all wet
and made squishy noises when we walked.
Elizabeth: We discovered this great rock,
where we decided to have our picnic that our mother had made us.
Jeremy: But the best was that beneath the rock,
there was this terrific little pool
that had a magnificent waterfall
spilling over an old stone dam.
Me and mom swam out first to check out how deep it was.
Harry: No fair.
- How come we didn't go? - Elizabeth: We did, Harry.
Mom just wanted to make sure it was safe for you.
Jeremy: It was so beautiful.
We felt like we were the first people there in years.
Harry: And then we all went?
Yeah, we came back to get you guys.
Elizabeth: You did a great job swimming, Harry.
Harry: Yeah, I'm sure our mother
was really proud of me since she taught me how to swim.
Elizabeth: She sure was.
Then after lunch, we laid down and slept
'cause we had woken up so early.
Jeremy: I doubt I slept.
I just stayed under the waterfall
watching the sun come through the trees
while the rest of you slept.
Harry: It was in the evening,
when the pond was really smooth,
except for the bugs flying so low
they hit the water sometimes.
Jeremy: We were all really quiet.
Elizabeth: Yeah, mommy told us
we'd scare the fish away if we talked too much.
Harry: I was just reeling my line in,
and suddenly I couldn't believe it.
There's a humongous fish on it!
Come on, Harry! Bring it up!
Pull! Pull! Come on! Pull. Reel, reel, reel.
- Hard as you can. - Hard as you can. Come on.
Come on. You can do it.
- My gosh. - It's huge.
Look at this, Harry. You got one.
Okay, guys. Hold up the fish.
Smile.
Okay, got it.
Terrific.
Jeremy: Except it was a sucker, so you threw it back.
Harry: I don't mind if I threw it back,
'cause that means it's still alive.
Elizabeth: It was a real beauty,
looked like it was made of silver.
Yay, Harry.
We had a terrific day,
an absolute perfect yesterday.
She's out there somewhere very close.
I can feel it.
I want her back so much.
I only want our mother,
our very own mother.
Me too. Me too.
Go to sleep.
Wake up, lazybones.
Mommy! Mommy!
I have to leave in 10 minutes, honey. Now hurry up.
You can't go around doing whatever you want.
Elizabeth, since you're almost in the eighth grade,
I'm sure you're capable of doing your own laundry.
How did we get here?
Harry, guess what I dreamed.
Harry, Michael's back!
- Look! - Michael!
Michael!
Elizabeth, I remember! I remember everything!
Come on.
Look at that.
Wow. Where'd those come from?
"I hope you slept well, children."
Mrs. Cavour's voice: These are for your mother.
Love, Mrs. Cavour.
- Harry: Mommy, you're back! - She's back.
Oh, what's going on?
Mommy, mommy, mommy. I love you so much.
Oh, those flowers are beautiful.
What do you want for breakfast?
Name it, anything. We'll make it.
Just leave it to us, and we're gonna clean up the whole house, mom.
Now wait a minute. I meant what I said last night.
You are grounded, and there's no TV.
Last night? That was weeks ago.
Oh, come on.
Wait a minute. What day is it, mommy?
It's Saturday, and I didn't forget
we have a visitor coming this morning... Mr. Leeby,
- your school principal. - What?
Huh? You mean he's never shown up?
Okay, guys, what are you up to?
Oh, mom, I love you so much.
We're never gonna do anything bad ever again.
Well, we'll try not to.
That's good. You're still grounded.
Who cares? We'll still do the garden
and clean up the house and do mommy's breakfast.
Oh, whatever came over you guys?
Mmm.
What are you smiling...
where did that come from?
It doesn't matter. You wouldn't believe us.
- I'm just so glad you're here. - Me, too.
We have the best mother in the whole world.
- Yeah, our mother. - Oh, guys. Ohh.
What am I gonna have for breakfast?
Fresh-squeezed orange juice.
- Pancakes. - Bacon and eggs.
- We're great at pancakes. - We're great at pancakes.
So what am I gonna tell Mr. Leeby?
Tell him that we're the best kids in the world.
Tickle torture!
- Whoa! - ♪ Whoa, I feel good ♪
Hey, help! Help me!
- Somebody help me! - ♪ I knew that I would now... ♪
Help! Hey!
- ♪ I feel good... ♪ - Somebody! Help me!
- ♪ I knew that I would now... ♪ - Kids! Help! Somebody!
- ♪ So good... ♪ - Hello?
- ♪ So good, I got you... ♪ - Mrs. Martin, help!
- ♪ Wow... ♪ - It's 9:00! Help!
- ♪ I feel nice... ♪ - We've got an appointment!
♪ Like sugar and spice ♪
♪ I feel nice ♪
♪ like sugar and spice ♪
♪ so nice, so nice ♪
♪ I got you ♪
♪ so good ♪
♪ so good 'cause I got you ♪
♪ so good ♪
♪ so good 'cause I got you ♪
♪ hey ♪
Mr. Leeby: Hey! Help! Somebody!
Hello! Mrs. Martin, help!
It's 9:00! Help!
We've got an appointment!
Hello! Help!
Help!
Somebody help me!
Mrs. Martin, I'm here!
It's Mr. Leeby! Hello?
Aah!